Thursday, 01 October 2009

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    School Boy Humor
    By School Boy Humor
    Cheating Myself
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    please remain content.

    I've been gone for awhile.  An update is in order.  I'm not sure how I've survived without blogging; seeing as how I don't really have anyone I can truly talk to.  That's a whole different story for another time.  But, here's what has been going on in my life since then: second year of college, acquired my first job, my own car,  gained a boyfriend.  For some reason, I feel grown up.

    I'm only a month into my second year of college and I've already reached the conclusion that this year is nothing like the last- in every shape and form.  It's not that I hate it, it's just different.  This year will be more refined, precisely focused.  So long to the weeks erased by inebriation.  So long to the blended days where time is just a fleeting concept.  I feel I'm more in control, but at the same time, I'm not.  I don't drink nearly as much as I used to.  That's a problem, because the night(s) I do, I over-do it.  Other than that, things are....normal.  I'm doing what I should have been doing since the beginning; going to class.  I've increased my track record of going to class, doing the work, even studying.  It's just mundane.  I don't like mundane.  The drone of the day-to-day monotony is mind-numbing.  It doesn't help the only friend I have here is my roommate.  I'm not complaining, neither is he, but we seriously need new/more friends.  I'm surprised we're not sick of being with each other 24/7, almost.  The floor I live on sucks.  I honestly think half the people on here don't even live here.  It's just a drastic change from what I'm used to. I'll adapt, eventually.

    I think it's a combination of school and my newly acquired job.  It's nothing spectacular but it pays, not very well mind you.  It's money I guess.  Plus, I got a car out of it so I can't really complain.  (Other than the fact that my truck sucks oil like a desperate hooker and can't go far distances.  Besides those two drawbacks, I love it.)  I took on this job not for the money, but because I need something to do.  I only have class for either an hour and fifteen minutes a day or for 3 hours and 15 minutes.  I think I need something to fill in those 21+ odd hours.  Might as well get paid for 4.5 hours of busy-work.  But, it's that plus school that makes me feel like I'm finally starting down a path of self-sustainability.  It's another thing new to me.  Wake up, go to class, go directly to work, come home, eat, chat with the roomy, then sleep.  Rinse and repeat.  I guess that's what my life will eventually end up being- like how my parents live.  Career then coming home.  Thinking about my soon-to-be-realized future scares the hell out of me.  In less than 5 years I'll be lawyering somewhere, military or public defenders office in Chicago, or still in law school.  I'm not sure if all this will be shared with someone special.

    Enough about the future.  This is what's present, I'm presently sharing my life with someone.  About damn time, right?  Look who you're telling.  I think I had to grow up to find someone like this.  Both working adults with long time goals in mind.  It's a mature relationship.  Ok so we've only been together for a little over a week, but we've been talking for almost 6 months before hand.  We've met 3 times before I asked him out.  I know this is different because he actually cares about the choices I make, and wants the best for me.  It's a mutual thing though, which makes us work.  Plus we act like regular guys, minus the whole loving each other part.  Yes, I do love him.  I fall for him more every day.  I didn't think I would feel this way about someone again.  He never thought he'd feel this way about a guy, good thing I proved that wrong.  With him, I've thought things I normally don't think about with a guy- that he could be the one.  I can honestly see us living together.  I do wonder how that would turn out considering we see each other once a week, if that.  Again, 'nother story for another time.  Seriously, he said the only way we'd break up is if I cheat on him.  I don't plan on it.  I don't even know why I break up with half the people I do date.   I think I just get bored or they do something to piss me off.  I was just immature, but that's no excuse.  But that was then, and this is now.  Now I have something that will last, hopefully for more than a month.

    It's hard to believe all that has happened in a month.  That I've reached such conclusions with my time-tested, and proven, clairvoyance.  I just hope I don't start being wrong now.  With so much on my plate I'm in a state of equilibrium.  As long as things remain constant, I remain content.

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